"People who can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I
cannot put into words."

What do we want?
When do we want them?
Asynchronous event jokes!
Now!

Three logicians walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says: "Hello gents.  Can I get you all a drink?"
The first one says "I don't know".
The second one says "I don't know".
The third one says "Yes!"

Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe.
He said to the waiter, "I'll have coffee with sugar but no milk".
The waiter goes away and then comes back.
"I'm sorry Mr. Sarte we're all out of milk.  How about with no cream?"

Erwin Schrodinger and Werner Heisenberg were out driving together one day and
got pulled over by the cops.  The police officer walked up to the driver's side
window and motioned for Heisenberg - who was driving - to roll it down.  Werner
obliged.

"Do you know how fast you were going there sir?" asked the cop.  "No", replied
the physicist with a twinkle in his eye, "But I know exactly where I was".

"Alright wiseguy, out of the car", the cop replied and the two scientists got
out.  "Open the trunk for me please", instructed the cop.  Werner popped the
lock and stepped back for the officer to take a look.

"Jesus!" the cop exclaimed, covering his nose and mouth against the odor that
emanated from inside.  "Do you know you've got a dead cat in here?"

"I do now!" Schrodinger exclaimed.

Q: What's the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?
A: ...

There are two types of people in the world.  Those who can extrapolate from
incomplete data sets and ...

A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his pants mended.  The tailor
asks, "Euripides?"  The professor replies, "Yes. Eumenides?"

Q: What does the "B" stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot?
A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot?